It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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