I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
