So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
