He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
