My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.