You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.