We're like a lot better than the average bears
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
