Welp...herpes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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