I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
