did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
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you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
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I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015