She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i barfeds in our rink
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery