The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
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They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better