I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.