So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.