my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize