just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
