I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
