Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
