he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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