he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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