Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize