Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize