my soul wont recognize me after tonight
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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