You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
