ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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