I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize