so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Holy shit dude........stairs
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