I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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