Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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