I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
