Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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