cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need moral support for this bender
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
