it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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