Your dad touched me again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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