I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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