she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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