Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Small penises have feelings too.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
