Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
