A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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