My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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