shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
