I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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