For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
