just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
