my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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