Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
