is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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