Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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