OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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