never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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