youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
