Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
