Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
