went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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