so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
