At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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