just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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