i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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