too bad you live with your parents still
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
