I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize